Sep 22, 2019
by Vesta Copestakes
Domestic violence affects millions, both women and men, of all ethnicities, religions, cultures. Domestic violence is not just hitting and black eyes, but it’s also yelling, humiliation, stalking, manipulation, coercion, threats and isolation. It’s stealing a paycheck, keeping tabs online, non-stop texting, constant use of the silent treatment, or calling someone stupid so often they believe it.
People who are in an abusive relationship may stay with their partner for a number of reasons:
• Their self-esteem is totally destroyed, and they are made to feel they will never be able to find another person to be with.
• The cycle of abuse, meaning the ‘honeymoon phase’ that follows physical and mental abuse, makes them believe their partner really is sorry and does love them.
• It’s dangerous to leave. Women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving their abusive partner than at any other time in the relationship, according to the Domestic Violence Intervention program.
• Statistics suggest that almost 5 percent of male homicide victims each year are killed by an intimate partner.
• They feel personally responsible for their partner, or their own behavior. They are made to feel like everything that goes wrong is their fault.
• They share a life. Marriages, children, homes, pets, and finances are a big reason victims of abuse feel they can’t leave.
• If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, we are here to help! The Family Justice Center Sonoma County is open Monday through Friday 8:30am to 4:30pm (clients must get there by 4pm to be seen that day). No appointment is necessary and all services are free and confidential.
• If you need to talk to someone immediately and confidentially, please call one of these hotlines:
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